Presence

In Isha we have something called "Presence". That is everyday just be in the presence of the Guru at a particular time. Whenever I sit during this presence time, I always sit with some needs and expectations. Even though I don't pray openly, inside me there is always an expectation and hope. Many people who are religious always advise others to be hopeful so that God will answer their prayers. In my 13 years of being with Sadhguru, I realized being "hopeful" is the worst state of mind. It just push to expect something from the highest you seek and this in turn leads to frustration if the expectation is not fulfilled. Can't I be just without any hope and be with Him. Not just with Him, but with everyone I see and have around me.
I think its very much possible. Today was one such day I realized this truth in a very gentle way.
From morning I wanted to speak with this friend of mine, who is very close to my heart. The whole day I sat in the meeting and could not call him. Of course he has his own jobs to be done. Whenever there were short breaks I just think of calling this person, but didn't, as I also had other works to do. Finally when I called him after the meeting, I realized I didn't have anything to talk. It was just the need to just be there with him. Nothing to talk...and when you talk to a person when there is nothing in your mind, its very dangerous.now you will say all the truth. So I disconnected the phone and still this need was chasing me like a tail. It became painful for me and I went and sat in the temple.
I asked myself and Him in the temple, why do I have this need. After so many experiences and lessons in my life, why am I going behind this and that. Its just that I was expecting everything to vanish within me. All of the sudden I felt or desired to be just there. Just be there and now I COULD FEEL HIS PRESENCE. After being like this for half an hour, I realized my craving to see this friend of mine also vanished. Well even now I love this friend, but just that I will be happy if he is there or not there. Its all within us...this presence, this fulfillment etc. And I can say every single creature I have love in my whole life...I can have them right now if I sit in the presence. I don't know how to put this in words..."He is there in everyone or everyone I see and love are nothing but Him". May be both.